Chalkboards

Here are a few more recent chalkies!:

How Now Brown Cow

Out of all of the many chalks I have done, I think this little guy is on my top 5 list. I am so thankful to have a job where I get to do what I love. It makes "work" worth it. Also thankful to have access to awesome supplies, like my favorite Zig markers. They are hands down- THE best! I especially love the woodcraft pens with their rich earth tones, and smooth coverage. Ah, the tools of the trade. I actually got my shipment in today from markersupply.com , and whenever my orders arrive, it feels like Christmas! Seriously the best part of my day! Anyway-here is my little cow Chalkie. I will probably start posting these guys on here more, since they are such a big part of my life. I dont know why I didn't post them sooner?...anyway- Enjoy!

Tom Toms

Boy howdy, am I excited! Next Saturday we (my place of employ) are hosting a Style Your Sole event for Toms Shoes! Customers come in, and buy a pair of Toms, and artists custom paint designs on them at no extra charge! Oh and I am just SO thrilled, because I am one of the artists! Eeeek! At first, I was terrified, and dreading the event-kind of, because I the idea of ruining somebody's shoes made me utterly nauseous. Picture me, hand shaking uncontrollably to begin with, and then, out of no where, A SNEEZE ATTACK STRIKES ME DOWN AND MY HAND GOES A-WALL AND BAM! Crazy @$$ shoes, with streaks and stripes and blotches and stains instead of the clean lines and cures that I strive for. Oy Vey! Phew....Could you imagine!? I know...."what a drama queen". I know. Now that I've had some time to let it marinade a little, I have realized that the feeling of failure is exactly what I have been trying to overcome. So instead of letting it get to me, I've decided to have the mindset that "paint is forgiving, and I can go over my mistakes IF I should mess up." OH- and did I mention that I get a free pair from Toms?.....GAH! What?! I am so honored. Plus, for every pair purchased, Toms donates a pair to a child in need. It's a win win win. Customer gets some rockin shoezies, little children who so desperately need protection from the elements and the hard, unforgiving ground get a pair of shoes, and I get to get my name out there and get a pair! Woah baby. My mind is blown, SO MUCH GOOD! And soon-these little, beauties will be mine :)

Letting Go.

And I beat myself up over it; almost daily. "Why can't I just follow through?!" Age 17:Accepted to Art Institute in San Francisco> almost ready to move= chickened out. Age 18:tried going to school>going for a semester>getting sick>couldn't go. Tried again> car accident>couldn't go. Tried again>couldn't pay bills=stopped going. Age 23:The 365 Project that I strictly committed to> donezo by day 27. Kind of ironic, since they say it takes 28 days for an act to turn into a "habit". Had i given myself one more day, would I still be working on that project? And it happens time and again. I am constantly trying to find something that will spark my interest long enough to turn it into a passion. And then, without fail....I let myself down. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to these things. I want to prove myself wrong, as if my worth of a being, as a whole, is determined by how many projects I can complete. And I lay awake in the middle of the night. And I loose more sleep than I'd dare to admit. I just want to know that I can finish something I put my mind to. I have come to terms with the whole "school bit". I realize that getting really sick and getting in a terrible car accident are entirely out of my control. And I am working a job, without school, that I would have wanted to work with skills learned in school. So really, it saved me some money. I realize that knowing my track record, a 365 day project was just biting off more than I could chew, really. I actually started this blog for the same reason, "Maybe my lazy ass will be able to just maintain a blog." Seeing that my last post was just about a year ago, I just shake my head. Partly in disbelief, and partly in disappointment. I know that my worth is not in the projects that I finish. It's quite ridiculous for me to even think so. What I need is to surrender. To accept the fact that giant deadlines JUST. DONT. WORK. for me. I need small, attainable goals, that will lead to a bigger picture goal. And really, i dont even NEED them persay, I just want them. Oh, how I think way too much, and accept way too little. I just need to step back, and remember, that I am ever changing, and ever learning, and ever growing. And that I am ever more loved in this silent brokenness by the One who knows me best. Oh, what a ramble I have let out just now. Into a black abyss of nothingness, falling upon deaf ears and blind eyes. Is anyone even out there?.

Cheers,
-K